Long-distance relationships (LDRs) can be magical. Done right, they’re thrilling, romantic, and full of anticipation. But let’s be real—they’re also challenging, sometimes unsettling, and definitely unconventional. That’s why not everyone understands them.

The truth is, most of the following points apply to all relationships, but long-distance love magnifies them, forcing you to face certain realities sooner rather than later.

If you’re in one (or considering it), here’s what you need to know.

1. Communication Will Make or Break It

LDRs thrive on strong, open, and consistent communication.

You might be a texter, while your partner prefers calls. Or maybe one of you loves voice notes while the other responds with memes. Finding a balance between your communication styles is key.

Time zones add extra challenges, and text-based conversations can lead to more misunderstandings. Clear expression becomes even more important. The upside? You’ll develop communication skills that many couples take years (or never bother) to refine.

Bonus tip: If only one person is speaking in their second language, it helps to slow down and be mindful. Choosing words carefully and showing patience can make all the difference. And if, like me, both of you are speaking your second language—prepare for some hilarious mistranslations.

💡 The Silver Lining: Most couples struggle with communication, but in an LDR, you’re forced to improve early on. You’ll learn to truly listen and express yourself in ways that many never do.

2. You Need a Clear Vision for the Future

An LDR can’t stay long-distance forever. At some point, you need a plan.
Who’s moving? What’s the long-term goal? If there’s no timeline, the relationship can start to feel like an endless waiting game.

It’s fun to take a carpe diem approach at first, but if one person starts developing clear life goals while the other is just vibing, things can get frustrating.

💡 The Silver Lining: You won’t waste time avoiding important conversations. In today’s world of swiping and noncommittal dating, many people avoid big discussions out of fear of being “too much.” In an LDR, time is precious. You need to know if you’re on the same page early on.

3. Trust is Non-Negotiable

If you struggle with jealousy or insecurity, an LDR will amplify it—fast.

Before my current relationship, I had to do some serious self-work. I used to be codependent (hard to believe now with my fiercely independent life). I’ve been in LDRs where trust was shaky, and let me tell you—it was horrible. The anxiety was exhausting.

Some people make it work despite trust issues, but the price? Constant overthinking. That’s no way to live.

🚩 Avoid toxic behaviors like:

• Checking in excessively or assuming the worst when texts go unanswered
• Social media stalking and seeing “competition” everywhere
• Being secretive about social lives instead of maintaining healthy transparency

💡 The Silver Lining: A healthy LDR builds stronger trust than many in-person relationships. Both partners must respect boundaries and actively work on emotional security. You’ll learn the difference between real trust and false reassurance.

4. Independence Is Essential

LDRs work best when both partners have fulfilling, independent lives.

You can’t be glued to your phone 24/7, waiting for a text. That’s not love—that’s a full-time non-paying job.

Hobbies, work, and social circles keep you happy and prevent unhealthy codependency. This is especially true if you’re in different time zones.

💡 The Silver Lining: You’ll become more confident, efficient, and self-sufficient. Instead of being a “half” looking for your “other half,” you’ll realize you’re a whole person. A relationship is an addition to your life, not the center of it.

5. Intimacy Takes Effort

Let’s be honest—physical touch is limited in an LDR. You have to get creative to keep the emotional and romantic spark alive.

Virtual date nights, surprise gifts, handwritten letters—small gestures matter. My partner once sent me flowers and a food delivery, and let me tell you, that meal tasted a million times better just because of the thought behind it.

And yes, let’s talk about that part—flirting, compliments, and intimacy still matter at a distance. FaceTime, suggestive texts, and, well, (WARNING 18+ ZONE) getting creative with that new lingerie set can keep things exciting.

💡 The Silver Lining: Anticipation builds desire. When you finally reunite…..

6. People Will Project Their Opinions Onto You

Get ready for the unsolicited comments:

❌ “WWWHHAAAT?! He’s not there for Christmas/your birthday/(insert event here)?!”
❌ “I COULD NNEEEVVVERRRR do long distance.”

Some people struggle to understand lifestyles different from their own. That’s their discomfort—not yours. Defending your relationship to random people is a waste of energy. It can also be people who genuinely care for you, but are clumsy in their communication, regardless, it is not your job to reassure them.

💡 The Silver Lining: You’ll learn to genuinely not care about others’ projections. And for every naysayer, you’ll also meet supportive people who admire your commitment.

7. Romanticize Your Life, Not People

It’s no secrets, I believe in adding magic to daily life.

Dancing while cooking, letting my daughter jump into fresh laundry piles, lighting candles for dinner even if it’s just takeout. Life is already serious— make it beautiful!

But people? They need to be seen for who they actually are, not the idea of them.

Yes, LDRs have dreamy moments—the beach reunions, the sun-kissed touches, the passport stamps. But they also have real life moments—grocery runs, dishes, laundry, ”annoying” habits. One day, there might be kids depriving you of sleep.

Your partner is a person, not a fantasy. Make sure you love them for who they are, not just the excitement of the distance.

💡 The Silver Lining: Once you stop idealizing people and instead appreciate them fully—flaws and all—you unlock the deepest, most authentic love. Loving someone through their humanity and being loved through yours is -to me- the ultimate human experience.

Final Thoughts

If both people are equally invested, if the trust is there, if you communicate and make an effort—then distance becomes just another challenge, not a dealbreaker.

Love is a choice. And in an LDR, you choose each other daily – Here and there.